Monday, May 10, 2010

Google Cola

February 2057.
The rumors will begin.

The first evidence will appear as a blurry cellphone photo of a handwritten internal memo. The header will only slightly resemble the latest revision of the company logo. Only small sections of writing will be clearly legible:

"Soft Drink"

"New Manufacturing Methods"

"200 Calories"

People will start to come forward slowly with evidence, and tales of personal encounters with the top secret beverage from the Google labs.

After just a few days, the entire world will begin talking about the rumored beverage.

At an ordinary YouTube conference on February 17th, 53 vloggers will be pulled into a hidden room. Upon signing a rather lengthy nondisclosure agreement, they will be given the chance to try Google Cola. A small percentage of these people will leak their story to the press. The drink will garner much praise.

However, there will be some who start to complain about the 200 Calories. New rumors state that figure is Per Ounce. Months of speculation, with no new leaks, will leave everyone wondering.

On June 18th the soda will be made official through a live broadcast on Youtube. It will have 17x more vitamins and 300x more flavor than any other product on the market. GUARANTEED. However, the caloric fears of the general population will be confirmed. The soda will have 200 calories an ounce and it will be sold in 6 ounce cans.

When it hits store shelves, just one week later, the CEO of Google himself will announce through a live worldwide television broadcast, "Omg. Inbd. You can just opt out of the calories." He will then open the can, take a sip, and move in with his auntie and uncle in Bel-Air.

Friday, April 30, 2010

My Online Presence

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